It's 5:01

I'm out of there.

I'm free at last, free at last, thank G-D almighty I'm free at last!!!!

I'm done being abused.

I can't wait to see what comes next.


It's time to PARTY!

I truly appreciate all the love and support I've received from your comments. You have no idea how much I appreciate it. THANK YOU ALL!!!

Have a great weekend everyone!

WOOOHOOOOOO!!!!

Finally ... it's FRIDAY!

This is it!

This is what I'm going to look like at 5:01 today.

Can you say "Awkward?"

WOW...today was unbelievably AWKWARD. I'm sure tomorrow will be even worse but once I get through those 8 hours I'll be FREEEEEE.

My boss, NOT the DICK but the other one, the one that doesn't want me to leave, the one who fought to keep me, the only person I'll really miss and the only reason why I've stayed at that miserable place for so long, asked me to go out to lunch with him and the new legal assistant, my replacement. I didn't know what to say. I thought to myself "this is a joke, right? really? lunch? with you and my replacement?, I don't think so."

I initially politely declined and told him I had plans and couldn't make it. I didn't have any big lunch plans (that's tomorrow) but was just going to run a few errands around town. I would have loved to go to lunch with just him but didn't think I could handle lunch with him and my replacement. How much can a person be expected to swallow? I'm choking here. I gave him some grief about waiting until my second to last day to offer to take me out to lunch after all these years. We've never gone out to lunch together. We've gone to the bar for cocktails many times throughout the years and partied like rock stars back in the day but never lunch. Just last week he asked me to cut out of work early with him to have a few drinks. We polished off lots of vodka and talked about how much we'll miss working with each other. He thanked me for my hard work, devotion, loyalty and friendship and apologized for not being able to do anything about the whole ugly mess.

After I thought about it for a while I decided to suck it up and go to lunch anyway. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right? Yes, apparently I am a glutton for punishment. I don't know why I torture myself and agree to things like this but lunch actually ended up being the best part of the day. The new girl is sweet and nice and we spent lunch talking about my boss' new baby, sports, our weekend plans and getting to know the new kid. I'm glad we stayed away from talking about the firm and the weird position we're all in. Of course, I know I have the worst of the situation but can see how uncomfortable it is for them too.

I actually kinda feel sorry for this new girl. She's very young and doesn't have a clue what she's gotten herself into. She doesn't have much experience and these busy litigators are going to eat her up.

The good thing for her is Dick is really trying to make a good impression on her or maybe he just wants to get under my skin by being super nice to her. Dick's already had more non-work related conversations with her in 2 days than he's had with me over the past year I've worked directly for him and the past 10 years before that. I'm sure if you asked him he wouldn't be able to tell you if I'm married or not or even what B's name is.

I just don't get it. I honestly don't know what his problem is. Maybe it's the rebound effect. He was forced to give up his assistant last year and we got stuck working with each other and no matter how good I am he wasn't going to be happy about it. I wasn't happy about it but I made the effort and did my job and he was just downright mean. Maybe I was just the rebound person and we all know that never works out.

I spent the afternoon training the new girl and was doing an excellent job of keeping it together until the new kid asked me if I was excited about leaving. I really didn't know how to answer her and started to tear up and had to walk away to compose myself. I need to toughen up and learn how to hold back the water works. WTF? I don't know why I couldn't have just smiled and said "YES!" She apologized for asking and I apologized for making her uncomfortable. None of this is her fault and I don't think it's fair to start her off on the wrong foot or make her feel bad for walking into this mess.

Tomorrow should be even more fun. Thankfully, I only have to suffer through another 8 hours in that place and after that I will be free from all the misery and stress that has been building inside me over the past decade.

I hope I have enough strength left to make it through the day tomorrow without having a breakdown. I have to keep my eye on the big picture and how happy I am to get out of there. I'm finally breaking out of the concrete box I've been imprisoned in for so long. I'm getting paroled. I can't wait to see what life is like on the outside.

Wish me luck.

True Friends

It's times like these when you find out who your true friends are.

I only have two more days to get through. I feel like I'm getting released from prison where I've served an 11+ year sentence. What will life be like on the outside? I'm excited to find out.

I hadn't talked to many people in the office about my departure because I can't seem to do it without getting all teary eyed. I'm not sad about leaving but I can't help but be hurt/offended/disgusted by how it all went down.

My replacement started yesterday so most people now know I am leaving and have been telling me how shocked they are by what happened. I'm not surprised by anything these people do anymore. I have seen too much over the past decade to really be surprised by their underhanded sleazy tactics.

It's funny how people I've never really been friendly with all of a sudden want to take me to lunch or out for drinks now that I'm leaving. These phony people have never invited me to lunch before but now act like they are my best friends. I politely declined their offers. Why would I want to spend my last days with these fake friends when I can spend it with the people I will truly miss?

I'm starting to get over the hurt and I'm looking forward to whatever comes next. I can't wait to have some time to take care of myself and figure out how to collect a paycheck without having to look at a lawyer. I honestly believe getting away from the stress of that horrible place will do wonders for my mind and body. I haven't been doing anything different with my diet or exercise routine but I lost 3 pounds this past week without even trying. Maybe the key to successful weight loss for me is getting rid of the monkeys (lawyers) on my back.

Training Day

My replacement starts today and I get to train her. That should be fun, huh?

I'm trying to figure out what to tell her when she asks me why I'm leaving. You know she's going to ask. How can I tell her when I don't really know myself. I feel sorry for her because she has no idea what she's getting herself into.

Three more days ....

Give me strength.

The Final Countdown ...

FIVE days! That's all I have to get through. Just FIVE days. It seems like an eternity.

I can't believe I only have FIVE more days before I break out of the shackles that have bound me to my cubicle cage for the past 11+ years. After Friday, I won't have to see these abusive lawyers ever again! This is the last Sunday night I will feel sick just thinking about going there. Tomorrow will be the last Monday I'll have to drag myself to the office only to wish the week away, counting the days 'til Friday.

It is going to be a very long hellish week. They've been loading me down with piles of work trying to get as much out of me as they can before they have to deal with a new person. They're going to have to draft their own documents and won't be able to bill $450 an hour for the work I did that they only glance at and sign their name. They want me to bust my a$$ working on things that aren't even due for months. I have trial prep work, billing, massive amounts of discovery (interrogatories, requests for production, requests for admissions), complaints and subpoenas to serve, not to mention the piles and piles of filing, and that's only the stuff I know about. I'm getting stressed just thinking about it.

I wish I could just go in late, take long martini lunches and read blogs all day instead of working like a dog to make their lives easier by getting everything done. What do I care? What are they going to do? Fire me?

Is it Friday yet? I can't wait to do the happy Snoopy dance when I walk out those doors for the last time. Only FIVE more days ...

Work Sucks. Life Doesn't Have To.

I just finished reading Happy Hour is For Amateurs by The Philadelphia Lawyer. I have to tell you how much I LOVED THIS BOOK!

I was nervous when I saw the blurb from Tucker Max on the cover because Tucker Max is a vile, disgusting a$$hole and he's proud of it. I'm not easily offended, hell, most of my close friends are guys who can be really gross, I'm a little embarrassed to even admit I read "I Hope They Serve ...." Don't be scared though, The Philadelphia Lawyer isn't another Tucker Max.

"Happy Hour is for Amateurs" is a brutally honest account of what it feels like to be trapped in a job you hate, selling your soul and toiling away in the dirty vineyards of the law just for the big paycheck. If you've never slaved away years in a concrete box of a big city law firm I'm not sure you will truly appreciate this book.

"Happy Hour" explains why the majority of people working in the legal profession use sex, drugs and rock and roll (and lots of alcohol) to help numb the pain of having to go to the office every single day.

It was the perfect book for me to read in my final days of an 11+ year stint working for miserable SOB litigators. The Philadelphia Lawyer reinforced the fact that I'm lucky to be getting out. I don't have a book deal or any job prospects but I'm praying I'll never have to go back to the soul sucking practice ever again. I'm going to have to keep this book on my shelf to read again in case I ever think of working for lawyers again.

I've only got 1 week and 1 day to go but it feels like an eternity. I hope I can hold out and resist the strong urge I have to stab my pen in Dick's eye. I'd would want to kick him in the balls too if he had any.

Big News

You know how much I hate my job, right? Well, it looks like I'm going to be free from the chains that have held me in this particular concrete box for the past 11+ years.

I got a call from a friend asking me about the litigation position open at my firm because a friend of hers had interviewed with my office manager. As far as I knew, there was no litigation position available which made me think they were interviewing for my position (AGAIN). These people are such sneaky b*stards.

I've had a great relationship with one of the partners I work for so I asked him if there was anything going on and he denied it. I knew he was lying so the next day I told him I heard the office manager had been interviewing for a litigation position and wanted to know if it was for my seat. After a little prodding he admitted that the a$$hole ("Dick") they forced me to work for last year has been on a campaign for the past 6 months to have me replaced because "it wasn't working out." Dick didn't have any complaints about my work, my work was excellent, but he just said he wanted me replaced.

I guess it explains why Dick has been even more of an a$$hole to me over the past 6 months. I'm sure he was intentionally being a miserable pr!ck to me to try to make me to quit. The partner I love working for and the office manager have been fighting with Dick for the past 6 months and telling him it was stupid to lose a good worker and he would just have to deal with it and make it work.

I am in limbo right now and don't know when I will be getting cut loose. I'm sure they will give me as little notice as possible but whatever .... I guess it is better than being blindsided like other people who had been here for over a decade who came in one day to find out it was their last. I'm sure they would have done the same thing to me if I hadn't found out about it. Of course, Dick knows I found out about his campaign but hasn't said two words to me about it. He is a Dick with no balls.

In my entire career I've never left a job without getting a farewell party, cards, gifts, celebratory cocktails, etc. One of the lawyers I worked for even wrote me a song and sang it to me on my last day. It doesn't matter how loyal or how hard of a worker you are, this firm will cut you loose without a second thought. They really are a bunch of heartless b*stards.

Once I get over being sad, disgusted, insulted and disappointed I will be able to celebrate the fact that I'm finally getting out of this hell hole I've been trapped in for over a decade. Of course, the timing s*cks but I'll survive. In the meantime I'm just waiting to find out when I will get that pretty pink slip.

Happy Birthday to the Queen!

Happy Birthday to the Snarkiest Queen of the PRB (People’s Republic of Blogistan). I hope it rained cupcakes in Florida today.

Head over to here to wish Queen Hilly a very happy 29th(?) BIRTHDAY!

Happy Birthday Cupcake Kisses ...

Liar Liar Pants on Fire

If you see the handle of the sharp knife sticking out of my back please pull it out slowly as it's done enough damage on the way in. I didn't expect to be screwed by the one person I thought was on my side. I'm struggling to come to terms with the fact that someone I've respected and trusted over the past eleven years looked me in the eyes and lied to me. He hugged me and reassured me as he stealthily plunged the knife deep into my back. Even after I caught him in his lie and confronted him about it he continued to spin his lie, backpedal and try to throw the blame on others.

I thought we were friends. I thought he had my back and could be honest with each other but it turns out I was very wrong. I guess it's a life lesson I needed to learn. When times get tough you get to see people's true colors and learn who your true friends are. He is not the kind of friend I want to have.

In my head I understand why he did what he did. He was only covering his a$$ but knowing that doesn't make it any easier to swallow. I always thought he was better than that and believed he was different from the rest of them but I was wrong.

It's going to be hard to get through the next few weeks knowing what I know but I'll get through it somehow. I'm trying to convince myself that everything happens for a reason and I'll end up in a better place. Only time will tell.

Thematic Photographic 73 - Leaves

I always try to take a few days off around peak foliage season so I can do some leaf peeping and get some good photos. Unfortunately, the weather didn't cooperate this year so I wasn't able to get the shots I wanted without the fog and rain getting in the way.

I love watching the colors change and the leaves fall because it means the snow isn't far behind.

If you would like to join in the Thematic Photographic fun, head over to Written Inc., check it out and share your "Leaves."

Single Ladies

Since the Evil Empire has taken over the Fox Network in their latest bid to buy a World Series I didn't get my fix of Glee tonight. If you aren't watching this show, you don't know what you're missing.

Just check this out.

How can you not love this show?

Party Pooper

You can just call me the Party Pooper, although it wasn't entirely my fault. I was so excited to meet the crazy, witty, wonderful ladies of Aiming Low tonight but my boss had other plans for my night. I ended up getting home really late from work and thought about rushing over to the Sheraton for the last hour of the party but decided to just stay home.

I cried into a big tall glass of pear vodka and raspberry crystal light and had a little pity party for myself. I hope the Aiming Low crew comes back to Boston someday soon so I can show them where to get the best clam chowdah. I'm sure the party at the Sheraton rocked and I'm so sorry I missed it.

If I get my pink slip tomorrow I'll meet you in NYC.

Party in Boston!

Who doesn't like to party on a Monday night?

I can't pass up the opportunity to let my hair down and have a few cocktails with some amazing women. If you are in the Boston area and want to meet the amazing Aiming Low ladies and other fabulous bloggers, head over to Aiming Low and RSVP for the PARTY. I'm sure it will be a blast. I just hope I don't get too star struck by all the rock star bloggers who attend.

If you can't make it to Boston, they will be bringing the party to NYC on Wednesday the 28th.

Time to PARTY!!! Hope to see you there.

Over the Top

Irene at Livin' Large gave me the Over the Top Award (I think). Even if she didn't, I'm going to take it and play along.

1. Where is your cell phone? Somewhere

2. Your hair? Needs color

3. Your mother? Delusional

4. Your father? A$$hole

5. Your favorite food? Unhealthy

6. Your dream last night? Don't remember

7. Your favorite drink? Vodka

8. Your dream/goal? Joy

9. What room are you in? Computer

10. Your hobby? Photography

11. Your fear? Unknown

12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Happy

13. Where were you last night? Home

14. Something that you aren’t? Thick Skinned

15. Muffins? Cake in Disguise

16. Wish list item? Camera

17. Where did you grow up? New England

18. Last thing you did? Paid Bills

19. What are you wearing? Clothes

20. Your TV? Off

21. Your pets? None

22. Friends? The BEST!

23. Your life? In turmoil

24. Your mood? All over the place

25. Missing someone? Always

26. Vehicle? F150 and VW Beetle

27. Something you’re not wearing? Wedding Ring

28. Your favorite store? Bookstore

29. Your favorite color? Blue

30. When was the last time you laughed? Hour ago

31. Last time you cried? Yesterday

32. Your best friend? B

33. One place that I go to over and over? VT

34. One person who emails me regularly? Mother

35. Favorite place to eat? Out

I think all of my blog reads are Over the Top good so if you're on my list - I mean you.

Thanks Irene. I think you, Sean and your whole family deserves the Over the Top award for all the amazing changes you've made over the past year. If you aren't already reading Irene's blog you should head over there and check it out her amazing weight loss success and then get even more inspired by her husband Sean's journey down from over 500+ pounds.

Change is Good, Right?

So much has happened over the past few days that has my mind spinning, my thoughts jumbled and I'm not sure which direction I'm headed or where I'll end up.

I'm giddy with excitement, happy, sad, mad, hurt, insulted, anxious and scared all at the same time. It's no secret to anyone that I hate my job and have been looking to leave for a long time, especially after getting reassigned a year ago and being forced into a position I knew wasn't going to work out.

Unfortunately, I can't seem to get my thoughts together right now to explain everything that's happened so, for now, I'm just going to say things are changing and I think I'll finally be getting out soon. It may get worse before it gets better but I'm sure it will be worth it.

Stay tuned.

Who do you want to be?

Be yourself!

Just Do It!

Love yourself.



Happy Love Your Body Day!

Working Vacation (oxymoron?)

I'm back!! Oh, wait, you didn't even know I was gone, right? Sorry, I was so anxious to get out of the city I forgot to publish the post telling you all that I was heading to Vermont last week so we could work on enclosing the addition on our camp.

We got most of the standing seam metal roof on (we were 5 panels short so they're on order), got the power pole moved, put in the last two windows and enclosed the remaining walls. It was really hard, backbreaking work but it was better than being in the office. B did most of the roofing by himself because I was too chicken to get up on the back side of the roof. It was way too high for this klutz but I did lots of ground work and my muscles are aching.

It looks like this is the week we should have taken off to work up there. We woke up to about 3 inches of snow on Tuesday which would normally make us very happy but since we had an open roof it wasn't what we wanted to see. Of course, the temps are supposed to be in the 60s this week which would have been much better for working outside instead of shoveling snow off the open roof.

Our friend, Sam, came up to visit for a few days so we took a break on Wednesday (her birthday) and went to Danville to do the corn maze and get some maple peanut butter (mmmm...). The only other time off was two hours on Saturday when we took a ride on the ATVs. It was our first and only ride on the season since hunting season started and the trails will be closed once we get back up there in two weeks.

It wasn't the best vacation and I certainly didn't get to relax much but we got allot accomplished. My head started hurting yesterday afternoon just thinking about going back to work. I'm dreading going back to the office today but I don't have any other options since none of my lottery tickets were big winners.

So, what did I miss? What's going on with you? I have over 700 items in my feed reader so it will take me a while to catch up. Hope you are enjoying the change in seasons and I'll do my best to get caught up on what's going on out there.

UUGHHH ... back to work.

Go Ahead - Make My Day

*

There is one surefire way to make a 40+ year old woman feel good - card her. B and I went to our favorite Chinese restaurant last night and ordered a volcano bowl to share (mmm...volcano bowl). After the waiter took our order he walked away and returned a minute later to ask for my ID. I could have kissed him. I said "me?" "really?" "how old do you think I am?" "THANK YOU!"

Before I hit legal drinking age many moons ago, I used to pray I wouldn't get carded but when it happens now it makes my day. I think one of the only positive things about being overweight is that it plumps out the wrinkles and makes you look younger. I'd gladly trade 80+- pounds for a few wrinkles though.

*Updated to add photo of Volcano Bowl for those who said they've never seen/heard of them.