Saturday, September 14, 2013

Give Me a Break!

There has been so much going on in my little world I don't really even know where to begin. It would probably help if I didn't go weeks/months between posts but I honestly haven't had a minute to myself these days.

Where to start....

We finally moved 25+ years worth of stuff out of our third floor apartment into the new house. You can imagine the great stair workout I got over the past few months carrying box after box down 3 flights of stairs and going back up again and again. It was exhausting and more challenging than any day at the gym but it is finally done. Now I have a 2 car garage full of boxes to unpack but at least I'm away from the toxic environment and all the family drama.

Our place in Vermont got broken into and we had thousands of dollars worth of stuff stolen. We got to the camp around 11pm Friday night of Labor Day weekend to find our beautiful new French doors to the addition broken and every bag and drawer emptied and strewn all over the floor. Our relatively new tv was gone and they stole a bunch of random stuff. Snowboard, snowboard boots, snow shoes, backpacks, tools, CDs and other stuff we haven't realized is missing yet. The key to our plow truck is missing and they tried to steal the riding lawn mower but couldn't get either of them started. Luckily they couldn't get at our snowmobiles or the ATVs but it is little consolation. So creepy to know total strangers have been in your house going through your stuff. I had been so stressed and was looking forward to a relaxing long weekend but that didn't  happen. We spent the weekend installing new locks and securing the place as best we could.

I was almost numb to it all by the end of that night. As sad as it is I keep trying to look on the bright side. The thieving ba$tards shut the door when they left so the house wasn't full of insects and animals, nobody was hurt and it is just stuff. Stuff can be replaced but it is hard to get over the fact that we are not safe there (or anywhere). Some of our neighbors up there haven't locked there doors in 30 years but they are starting to now.

I am in the middle of a visit from the Mothership and I'm losing what little patience I've been hanging on to. She really knows how to push all of my buttons and I'm afraid I haven't been biting my tongue as much as I should and usually do. It cracks me up that the things I actually remember she tells me didn't happen and the revisionism she believes is mind boggling. She is such a worrywart and has a non-stop commentary about everything that is bad for you. You shouldn't eat this or that, you shouldn't drink (as she sucks down another scotch), everything is dangerous and you shouldn't do this or that. It's exhausting dealing with some so negative when I'm trying so hard to get my head in a better place but she is my mother and I must try to keep the peace.

I finally got my Wii hooked up and weighed myself. I was right. I haven't gained it all back but a good 80% found its way back on. I'm doing the best I can to just hold on these days but know I have to get serious about weight loss again. It is so hard to see my friends wearing all my beautiful fat clothes that I gave away when I could wear them again now. Even sadder is all the beautiful clothes I have that I can't squeeze my a$$ into anymore. I swore I would NEVER fill out those fat clothes again so there was no need to hold onto them. When will I learn?

What is it going to take for me to lose it AGAIN and keep it off? Your guess is as good as mine but I'm determined to keep fighting for it.

Thanks to all you beautiful souls who keep checking in on me, cheering me on and inspiring me. I'm determined to make you (and myself) proud again and I'm going to try to check in more regularly so you don't have to read such long rambling posts.

I best get my butt to bed since I'm hosting my first big BBQ at the new house tomorrow.

Cheers!

5 comments:

  1. So sorry to hear about your place in Vermont, but it's great to hear from you. Sounds like multiple stressors have been (and are!) going on for you. Cleaning stuff from one place and moving to another can be so overwhelming, but it must feel good to be in your new place.

    Ah, the food and weight struggle. It's great that you have faced the music, so to speak, by getting on the @#$&*% scale. I've been in the same spot as you too many times, and know the frustration. It's always great when you post - hope to "see" more of you.

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  2. I'm so sorry to hear about the break in! Theft has been increasing all over up here.

    The food and weight struggle is something I struggled with for a couple of years. I've only just got back on track (6 weeks now), and I know it's important to remember that the weight is mostly about the kitchen, not the gym.

    A move is a HUGE stress, the break in on top of that? Even moreso! Take care of yourself. :)

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  3. Hi MB, Oh, we had our office broken into in 2010, with computers and check blanks stolen and everything thrown in heaps. It felt tragic. And we own all of our stuff in our office, so it wasn't just work stuff, it was ours. So I do understand that feeling.

    I hate mil's totally. I gained 18 pounds when the total B was in our home. I'm surprised it wasn't more. My friends say they would have gained more because she was so awful. (psst...try to get rid of her.)

    Regarding weight, you know *exactly* what to do--so be your best coach and coach yourself to a better weight. Where you are at is temporary.<<really. I lost so much weight this last year. It honestly came off very fast once I was determined. So you just need to get really determined again. You'll see. :D

    Lastly, I went shopping in the mall today. There are AWESOME new clothes. We can't look backwards at what's already done. You'll find even better gorgeous clothing than you gave away.

    So don't worry: You're going to do fine. Even better than that. I'm so glad you're back. <3

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  4. Sorry about how things have been going but glad to hear you pulled out your Wii again...ME TOO!

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  5. Hugs to you! I am so sorry you have been through all of this. Yes, stuff is just stuff, but it is so violating to have someone invade your space.

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